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Written by 5:42 am My Rants

Chantal, Her Boyfriend and my wahala

You know the obvious. Chantal is my favourite and that used to make me a little jealous

Well one day while lounging in her tiny London Flat, she said, Joe, I don’t have a boyfriend

I turned to her, looked straight into her beautiful eyes and said – Don’t worry, you will soon have

Well, inside of me, I was happy, abeg. Which yeye boyfriend? That one that will come and be distracting my pikin and be making her not have my time. Mbok no boyfriend

But i cdnt tell her that o. British/Ibiobio fine girl in her 20s and the most beautiful gap teeth this side of the River Thames, you will now come and tell her she shouldn’t have a boyfriend?

Well months later, my prayers were not answered as she gleefully announced that she now had a boyfriend

My heart sank. Didn’t know what to feel, i cdbt even explain it.

Jealousy? Betrayal, fear? I didn’t know. I just put on my poker face and smiled as she would be telling me things about the boy

Then I went to Zara’s graduation and a short boy walked up to me – hello sir, I am Chantals boyfriends younger brother

I looked at this boy ehn, if it was possible to turn him to meat pie, I would have turned him and thrown him to Zaras puppy aptly named Small Chops

Since then, Chantal will not let me hear word. My boyfriend this, My boyfriend that, my boyfriend this, my boyfriend that

I would secretly call Zara and say, do you like the guy? That traitor will smile and say Yes, he is fun

Kai. Then I saw him. He was tall and lanky and looked shy. He came for one of our shows and Chantal took him to the VIP box to go and sit with people who gave me millions

I went to the other side of the Hall and was looking at this bobo not knowing how to strangle him

This was my first daughter with this Igbo boy.

The boy was priding and after the show, he held her by the waist as they started greeting people

Then she brought him to me. I smiled and said how are you, if only they knew…

Then she disappeared, we didn’t see her again for days. I was very sure she was with that tall lanky Igbo boy that is looking like someone that is dancing with Cubana Chief priest

I would toss and turn on my bed not even understanding how to feel

I felt like calling her best friend Feyi who is also my best friend to plan something to sabotage them but that one is even the worst culprit cos i am sure she was the one who even gave the boy Chantal’s number

Then Jesus gave me a brain wave – why not invite the boy to a boxing contest

Yes, we fight for my daughter. Me the papa and he the boyfriend

If I win, he will carry his bag and go to Onitsha and open shop but if he beats me, I will approve of their relationship afterall Fulani men get flogged for their women

I sent the signal to him but he didn’t answer and instead of Chantal to encourage him, she will be annoying me with her usual – my boyfriend said this, I’m going to my boyfriend, my boyfriend said that

Ntagha boyfriend. Boyfriend that cannot fight

Well, that’s how last night we were talking and she started again with – my boyfriend…

And I had another brainwave

Chantal, why not let me and your boyfriend hang out? I mentioned

She said, cool. I said oya he will take me out and buy me drinks and she gets defensive, he will pay?

No ooo I will pay mumu. He will pay jo and she said ok…

Then I said with all seriousness – Chantal think very well o, cos if I meet this one, I will not meet another boy until your wedding day ooo

She didnt even blink when she said deal. Hmmmmm, hmmmm, igbo boy don scatter my pikin head o

But the truth is that, as Father I cant be meeting every Ekwe that comes to date my pikin and I’m sure Chantal also got the import

Her response made me proud of her. Shows that she was deeply in love and was committed to this boy.

I can only pray for her

Meanwhile, my plan is to take him to a strip club with the hope that I can distract him and take his pictures getting a lap dance and use it to blackmail him

This is a secret o. U that is reading dont go and lose guard and tell anybody ooo

Kai father in law from Hell

Duke of Shomolu

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Last modified: February 26, 2026

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