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As u engage the sometimes complex entry protocol into the seat of Nigeria’s pretentious nadir of aspirational living, the serene ambience of its beauty hits you.

The well-laid-out topography, its infrastructure and the lush landscape of its greenery all welcome you to Nigeria’s latest abode of the wickedly rich.

Fuelled by the insane avarice of the rent and patrilineal system, the new rich have descended on this truly banana-shaped island to build huge shrines of lust that they call mansions

Underneath this superficial beauty, is the madness of unscrupulous developments

As it is want to be with wealth secured through ‘funny’ means, procedure, respect for law and order, and due process in securing, these developments are thrown into the winds.

As you navigate the wide well-paved roads, you begin to see developments that beggars believe

Beautiful and vacuous monsters that begin to tell you just what corruption has done all standing bent in the full glare of the sun

Like its older cousin, Ikoyi is being buried with unsightly skyscrapers in a mad race to maybe turn the once serene enclave into a parochial caricature of New York, Banana Island is crying under the weight of a mad race to build concrete monsters without recourse to common sense

It’s no wonder that one or two have collapsed; the cost of land there is immoral, cost of building is sacrilegious, making the whole thing an investor’s nightmare, not conforming to any well-tested demand and supply rules of investments either in returns or in cost overlay.

You only just need to scratch the surface, and you will discover the growing sense of discontent amongst its residents and other such observers.

Its very powerful residential association suffering from either one of these or even both – incompetence or compromise is looking quite helpless as these ‘funny developments strangle the neck of this sinking beauty.

The keen observer doesn’t have to be told or shown any concrete evidence of incompetence or compromise by authority both internal or otherwise, all you need do is look at some of this developments.

He said he had written to tell me that my fence would fall – was the cry I heard that finally prompted this article.

She called to say – Edgar help me write something about this whether they will listen to you.

My neighbour is building something I don’t understand. The thing is monstrous and one kind.

The balcony is on top of my fence, and just as I was about to complain, my fence falls, and my living room walls begin to crack with the plaster falling off.

I say – aghhh. She continues. I chase the developer, one Obinna, and he says – oh, I had written to inform you that your fence will fall.

How do you write your neighbour to tell her that her fence will fall, and truly, the fence fell?

She claims not to have seen the letter and Obinna is said to have submitted it to the Estate Association

Elections into the Estate Association, I hear are as vigorous as national elections with all the intrigues minus the violence

The reason for this is very clear – it gives you so much power, raises your profile and further deepens your access to the moneyed exclusive class that rules Nigeria

As a result, competence dies as you get newspaper publishers, traders, vendors, sportsmen and retirees, and all sorts populate an association that has arrogated to itself so much power to run an enclave that needs very succinctly expert capacity in solving most of its infrastructural and planning issues.

This incompetence and maybe compromise at all levels and even up to the sub-national level would be the death of this beautiful island.

Examples adorn Lagos- from the dilapidated Dolphin Estate through to VGC; you are faced with dreams that have died due to incompetence, compromise, or both by stakeholders at all levels.

The signs are very clear of this impeding demise of Banana Island, and honestly, I really am looking forward to it as a well-deserved punishment for the killing of my dear Ikoyi Park.

A second and final take on this matter will be released during the week after I physically take a visit to the Island.

Buy data and get ready to beat me

Duke of Shomolu

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