The incident of men beating up their wives due to their refusing them sex is becoming rampant
When you beat up your wife and then forcefully have sex with her, in my books that is Rape
I don’t know if you could be prosecuted for that seeing that you have legal authority over her but this issue is now so rampant in marriages that almost 1 in 20 marriages are facing it according to experts
It could be more, it’s just that due to shame, stigma and humiliation, a lot of incidents are not being reported
I am writing to the man who finds himself in such a situation.
The women who find themselves being beaten up and molested remain victims but this essay is to the man who out of frustration resorts to this
But before I go to the man, let me state one fact
Men by their natural inclination get extremely attracted to that one thing that seems difficult to get
It challenges them and brings out the hunter in them, and this comes with latent aggression that if not properly contained could lead to violence
When women weaponise sex, which is what you do when you refuse your husband for whatever reason, you are truly playing with fire
A woman can get cold and switch off for so many reasons
She could be distracted by another man, economic reasons, physiological and medical reasons, age, social reasons and many more
For men, you tackle this by first trying to understand which of the reasons is leading to this loss of attraction
Women are very deliberate when it comes to sex. They hardly make love by accident, it’s usually well planned and orchestrated
What this means is that if your woman doesn’t want to make love to you again, then you are truly and really in trouble
My research shows that the most difficult reason to overcome is if your wife is distracted or has someone else
This is usually impossible to reverse except she herself reverses it
There is literally nothing you can do about it cos her heart which is her sexual engine room is gone
Most women and by this I mean normal women cannot sleep with two men at the same time
It makes them feel vile and it imbues them with low self-esteem so they cannot really manage
When they sleep with you cos you are their husband, even you will see that this is just a body in bed. A lot of them will not even kiss you.
If your wife no longer kisses you, no matter how many rounds she allows you, she is gone
So how do men react in this situation
Beating her up and forcing yourself on her, is the worst thing you can do.
Different strategies depend on the reason
If it’s a distraction from another man, you wait it out and leave everything to God
Most women find themselves in a loveless marriage. Either they got married when they didn’t understand their sexual appetite or their expectations for a relationship
They continue in it even though they remain sad and unhappy
When they find their soul mate and the chemistry is right, even if they are Mother Theresa, they are gone and there is nothing you as the hubby can do about it
Those with a strong sense of duty will stay and continue to meet their responsibilities but their heart and body are gone and there is nothing anybody can do about it
If they are lucky and the source of distraction is also well engaged with her, that is the end. Both of them will stick together through thick and thin and she would have ‘another husband’ out there while still at home.
I have stopped judging this kind of relationships cos ive seen and heard of many
The sadness involved in being locked up in a loveless marriage and the frustration of finding your soul mate and not being able to be open about it usually leads to massive depression and beating is the worst thing a man can do at this stage
The other reasons, emotional, psychological, physiological, and financial can be easily resolved
All you need to do is be patient. Control your libido, keep it aside and be selfless
Offer a shoulder, talk to her, be more responsive, cuddle her, put the romance back and just put her on a new pedestal
Send her gifts, poems, listen more to her and the rest
What you would need is a lot of patience.
Women normally can stay without sex for a long time and when you now add all these other issues, you just might find yourself in the lurch for years
I know men who have stayed for seven years without sex from their wives and I also know women who have stayed that long and even longer without sex from anywhere.
So what advice would I give a man in that space, who has needs
Instead of beating her up, masturbate.
Yes masturbate, this is my favourite pastime.
It’s safe, healthy and cheap. All you need is your hand, your mind or porn and for beginners you can get aides like baby oil, palm oil and the like
Whenever, you get the urge, instead of going there to be humiliated, just enter a dark room, bring out your pecker beat it and you cum and you will be very ok
You see for us men, once you achieve the release, everything becomes calm
Secondly, start an affair. Yes. I say it with my full chest. If she is no longer giving you, look for someone and start something
It’s better than beating and raping someones child. People have lost their lives and ended up in prison for that and the worst that can happen to you for cheating is being cheated on or being caught and then you have a strong alibi – you are not fucking me na
Leave the marriage. When a woman is not giving you sex for upwards of four years, what the hell are you still doing there
Men have a short sexual cycle. Once they cross 50, they start to decline sexually so why now use your own hand to further shorten the cycle
If the womam for whatever reason is not giving you and you have tried so hard and she is still not adamant, just leave the marriage. It’s that simple
Do not beat a woman for sex, it’s the lowest any man can fall to.
I hate men who do it cos they are the worst form of manhood even lower than a rapist.
How can you beat your wife cos you want to have sex?
Rubbish
Thanks
Duke of Shomolu
Last modified: March 10, 2026
