Let’s have a colloqium, just 30 people in a room and pull in General Ike Nwachukwu your hero to chair it and talk about your work in design and architecture…
That was me to architectural maestro Chike Iroegbunam just yesterday in his luxe office as a way of celebrating his 60th.
Chike froze, swivelled on his chair and waved me off.
Chike is 60 today and apart from the work he is doing in his village – building a school, wants a very quiet day
But me I no gree as I pepper him with suggestions
Why cant we do like SANWO-OLU and shut down Eko Hotel and change clothes three times afterall you have more clothes than him and you fine pass am
By this time, Chike is getting irritated with me and as na my Landlord, I keep quiet before the Igbo man drive me
Chike is an enigma. Met him thru my friend Kayode of FCMB and since then we have built a relationship that is both intense and arms length
The man no dey invite me come him house. He no say I no get car and he dey pretend like say he no see, he go dey lock himself for office to chop and ask him PA Vanessa not to allow me enter and several other wicked things he is doing to me that i am cataloging to be published in a book with his nude as cover
But Chike is the best man anyone can have on his side
In his shyness, Chike follow me go London, refuse to speak, sit at the back and just dey look
Chike is godsent to anybody around him, ask Chiedu that he has made a multi millionnaire architect as his partner of over 20 years or Olumide Aju SAN who is also a strong recipient of Chikes love and attention
Na me remain and Chike has said that I must serve him for at least 10years before he go give me one of his iconic flats – I dey for the 6th year of my servitude
Chike’s works remain highly heralded. He is responsible for such iconic arcitectural masterpieces that litter the Ikoyi skyline
His latest piece of Art – the sublime but dexteriously avant garde Benson close stands tall and beautiful from the Ikoyi Falomo Bridge beaming its affectionate gaze over the Lagoon and shinning bright like the diamond it is
Its interior shows the work of a master designer.
The penthouse hits u like the soft thud of buxom breasts.
It carresses your sensibility as it introduces you ever so softly to its curves
It invites you into its bosom with a warm appeal that leaves your taste buds brimming in anticipation.
Chikes strong point is his eye for beauty. His taste are studiouly refined as the pieces that dot his buildings trigger envy and anger as to how one man is so blessed with such a gift
Chike is the igbo Picasso. His office table is made up of parts from the famous – I better pass my neighbour generator and his art collections remains one of the most enticing sincr gentelman Robert Mbonu came to Lagos.
But Chike is painfully shy like all master artists. He would drip in the most classic ensemble and just go hide in a corner hopping not to be seem
A chike appearance is a work of art. His styling is impeccable as he carefully chooses his clothes with the eye of a different kind of artist
His luck is that he is bigger than me otherwise I would be raiding his wardrobe every saturday
A better dresser, I am yet to see except for the aforementioned Robert Mbonu whose classic style is up there with Chike who although is a little less dangerous but still comes out with an artsy feel – Robbie is coming out like a Samurai warrior these days
Chike calls me a scammer as I run all my schemes by him – a new Play, a new book, a new initiative, a mischievous gambit and he will laugh and say – Edgar when will this scam end, anyways send your account number we have no choice but to support you
Chike is my biggest most consistent supporter. He has given me money on everything I do whether he belives in ot or not- the sex masterclass for one.
He will say – look Edgar, you are too scattered and you will never make money and I will say leave me, you make the money and I steal from you and then I will run away with his latest designer bag and he will just shake his head and call me scammer
Chike is that angel that is an Igbo man. He is very kind, gentle and absolutely perfect as a human being
For someone who attended Igbobi College this is very strange cos we all kniw how rascally those ones can be – see Fashola, see Gbaja and see Portable
Chike is my retirement plan, as I have vowed not to work as hard as I used to anymore
All I need do is sit on his lovely antique leather couch, watch him craft his masterpieces and then design my own scam to take a percentage of what he earns
This is how I got him to agree to bankroll the Maddtimes power list Coffee table – he is the financial muscle behind it
His brilliance is ecunemical and prophetic as he sees things mere mutants dont see on time – edgar you are a genius he wjll say to me and I will say its the holy spirit that must have revealed that to you cos you dont watch porn.
He saw my loss in London. Edgar you have no structures and people wil take advantage and when I lost the N50m, I ran back and said mbok just give me N100k make I go chop and he gave me laughing at me and sayin – they have scammed the scammer.
Chike loves his wife to a fault and who would not, she is such a charmer, silent but strong and used to give me fine rice and coke when I go to thier lovely apartment which faces both the Ikoyi Golf course and polo club at the same time
You see that chike is a cheat as he watches Golf tournaments free on the one side and polo tournaments free on the other side and in the middle, he faces EFCC which reminds visitors like me of our stay there – Chike. I no like this balcony, I dey see my former cell, I would scream
Unlike most men, Chike has a wonderful relationship with his son and I would say Mbok how you dey do am my own son don block me and he will launch into one of his most boring Philosophical talk and I will pretend to listen cos at the end, he go give me money.
As he celebrates his 60th, I wish him too much, he has been too much to me – a steadfast and loyal friend, master, landlord and protector.
The same role he plays for all of his staff who he gives free food and free accomodation and those ones will be doing like celebrity esp that tall and handsome Eche and that Khaliq that have plaited his hair and is looking like those people from straight from Compton
I have not heard any plans for food today and I have seen the ‘wicked’ shema make secret plans that will not involve me but Kunle have told me that he will be given an extra pack as the most senior after Chiedu that I shd relax
Happy birthday my boss, God will give you a long life, deep pockets and brilliant health
Na the deep pocket na him matter pass abeg
See you soon, I dey come, never start to eat o
Duke of Shomolu