It is that time of the year again when I check my balance and see N50k
The thing used to sweet me before but now I no longer find it funny
Now, I ask my driver to drive more carefully as we do not have money to repair anybody’s car, we pay more attention to things and generally avoid cost centres
By cost centres, I mean children, relations and normal people who ask for that urgent 2k
But it is at these trying periods that mechanics will come and try themselves, the Washman will lose your clothes, your sister will born twins, your cousin will have stroke, your nephew will fall sick and your niece will have presentation in school
On this your 50k, estate service charge will hit, your two tyres will go down, police will wave you down and you will drive past your favourite salad shop in Lekki where a scoop of Potato porridge is N7k
Then, u call all the banks just in case a loose N100k is hanging there
Last week on one of those calls, they said N750k.
That was Wema Bank but this week no luck
N2k, N3k and N12k were the balances on the three different accouhts.
The N12k is in Zenith where I do not have an app and shame is catching me from walking in and asking for it
This circle has been part of my adult life and I used to enjoy the low end while waiting excitedly to reflate
Before, the wait period used to be so long like from the 3rd of the month to the next payday
But these days they are shorter. Hours, one day or two days but this one is getting to the 4th day and it is irritating me
Then the Igbo boy sends me a pic of the shoe and I refuse to open it for obvious reasons
This lag time is annoying me and I no longer find it funny
Maybe I should go and join APC or even be doing NURTW for the main time, I wonder out loud in mock self-deprecating mode.
I used to love being broke; I used to enjoy the peace of mind that came with it.
The freedom from d stress of spending, allocating, budgeting and all that shit that comes with having money
But now, I miss not having money, I miss calling the Bank and saying – kindly move this to that, I miss calling the Igbo boy and saying send me this shoe and that pant, I miss going to Godaif and eating N35k plate of soup and much more importantly I miss giving out those small small N5k that I give almost 100 times a day
Being broke is another life lesson. It’s a very very important part of life as it tells you who u really are, stripping u of all the arrogance of capacity and reminding you that you are but nothing in the grand scheme of life.
I can’t wait to reflate Mbok, not in the mood for the psychology of brokeness which is usually a justification for not being able to just stand up and spend
Mbok where is this effing money.
Kai
Duke of Shomolu
