Dem say make I come take award yday.
All the lecturers for Theatre Arts for Nigeria say make I come LASU say dem want give me award say I dey try for Theatre
Na so I bring out my LV shreded jeans and one black Zara tshirt and one to die for slippers wey get toes, I swear if you see the slippers, you go wet if you be woman
Na so we jump inside car, dey go the place
Dem don repair d road but he still far small.
Na so we reach the gate of the school and na so Security man puncture my confidence
Aghhh oga, we get dress code. I say wetin happen and he say, your jeans don tear and u carry dada and you wear earring so you no fit enter
I say but I no be student and he say na for everybody except i no go commot for my car
Now make i talk this part for English so I go fit talk am well
You knw my room mate in UI used to tell me that nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission
This dirty smelly security man did to me what nobody in corporate Nigeria would dare do – puncture my self confidence
In that few seconds, he beat me up, threw me into the garbage bin and made me feel like a pig in a putrid pig sty
I called Professor Azeez who was livid and asked that the phone be handed over to the man but it was too late the damage had been done
I am a man, with flesh and blood and this got to me
As we drove into the campus, I called my staff who finished from the school to ask if there was a boutique so that I quickly went to buy a new pair of jeans
That was it. I had hit rock bottom. Totally deflated by the words of this scallywag who was just doing his job
With those words, he had stripped me of my essence left me naked and filled with insecurities making me feeling inferior
All of my powers had gone. All of my confidence and brogadaciousness had left me and I was now a wimp
As we walked towards the huge auditorium, I told Duchess to get ready to go and receive my awards for me as I had lost it
Apparently, I am a litte bit popular with LASU theatre Arts students as they hailed me, asked to take pictures and generally just fussed over the Duke of Shomolu
But this was not the Duke, this was now the Eunuch of Shomolu castrated by the gateman
It got worse when the professors filed in, in their laborious academic gowns
The Gowns always sha used to look voluminous and tiring. I have never seen a neat one and ydays own sha looked like they were all brought out of great grand ma’s cupboard filled with ‘kamfo’
Today, instead of laughing at them cos they all looked like ‘kunkunu’ the famed tortoise of the NTA Jos program of our growing up years, I envied them and felt shy.
I looked at them with envy, as I moved deeply into my seat looking for some where to hide
Then they called me to the stage for my awards and as I walked up, my expensive but torn jeans fell off my buttocks and my boxer shorts came in view
I literally just died. I cdnt turn back, but went straight to Prof Ojo who was the keynote speaker to hug him and regain some composure
The Ekiti man stoid up to hug me but his big belle made that effort difficult
Prof Azeez smiled at me nd started reading my citation and immediately my handsome face came on the screen, the hall erupted into a loud noise and applause.
Normally, I would have soaked it up but today, I was a mouse, the security man had killed the Duke, this was the mouse of Shomolu on stage
As the applause and nosie continued , I started wondering why they were hailing me
Was I standing there in my shredded jeans feeling like a motor park tout representing rebellion?
Had I unwittingly just lent my voice to a growing dissent by the students who are now mocking the authorities – shebi we cant do dreadlocks, we cant sag and show our boxer shorts, we cant wear earing, so why are you now giving this fool an award while still in his uniform of infamy?
As I walked down the stage, the clapping continued and the rush to take photographs with me by some Professors made me feel a little better
As I walked out of the auditorium, a lot of students came towards me to ask for one thing after the other and this gave me back my confidence
Then one lecturer from Enugu accosted me – Duke, Ikuku asked me to come and greet you specially
Ikuku is the Director who did Bianca with me and remains one of the most brilliant theatrical academicians in Africa
The man from Ikuku gave me my confidence back with his words
Duke, Ikuku insisted that I greet you specifially….
As we drove towards the gate, I asked my driver to go slowly cos i wanted to beat up that Security man
He wasn’t there, he must have gone to the nearest brothel to empty his balls
Please I give a bounty of N10, 000 to anyone that can fish him out – he is tall, slim, dark with brown teeth and he is Yoruba – LOL
Meanwhile, one mumu photobomb my picture.
You know how many people are snapping you pic and they later send the pic to you and you see one big head like Ras Kimono for pic and you wonder how the head got there
Then the next thing, na voice note you dey get – mr Joseph Edgar what do you mean by this ‘framing’? Answer now so I know my next step
I just ask myself – wetin dey do this werey wey dey disturb me this night.
I just ignore am open xvideos
Kai
Duke of Shomolu