I feel so ashamed to say that I hardly attend Magodo Estate meetings popularly called MRA
Although I attend strategic meetings during the election period, you cannot really call me an MRA person.
Anyway, that is how this Saturday, I found myself at the south east zonal meeting and as expected, the talk was boring and of no real interest to me
Anyways just as I was about to stand up and leave one gorgeous granny stood up to make a point under AOB
The construction going on just down the gully and very near to the meeting point was inconveniencing her
The noise was disturbing her and as such she needed the exco to do something about it
The ego started fighting. Someone said, we should fight back by going to court and another said, we should engage
I stood up to say the most stupid thing in my adult life –
I said ” Ohhh, we should act as neighbours and engage civilly and that we take ourselves too seriously
I noticed that some people looked at me like mumu, others ignored me and the chairman asked that they clap for me as new comer
My people, after the meeting, we decided to go for an inspection site of the project and the risk to which I have beem subjecting myself to hit me
I had moved into the property at Menas insitence some 10 years ago and have kept it after her passing
The property owned by an influential media man is a beautiful block of four flats, very spacious in the old school style and nestled on the brilliantly apportioned Kunle Ogedegbe axis deep inside the huge gorge that ordinarily should be a thing of beauty.
The gorge instead is marked by a monstrousity.
An abandoned building that looks like Draculas mansion
Its so ugly in its descrepit nature that one wonders what exactly the owner was trying to build.
The huge apparition hovers over my roof with its foundation staring menacingly into my bedroom
It is inhabited by all sorts of reptiles and animals that at night, we are kept awake by a symphony of noise by these reptiles.
So when I saw the demolition, I was kinda relieved making me very impatient at the beautiful grannies submition at the meeting
If you Know Magodo very well, u too will be irritated by the elitist prerentions of some of its residents
The self importance can be chagrin and they never let you forget that I am a ‘house owner’…hence my initial revulsion
The inspection quickly threw the risk to my life at me so graphically
There was a huge earth moving machine excavating the cliff with such ferocity, that we shuddered
It was creating a mountain of mud and those who knew said – Edgar, all we need is an hour of rain and your house is submerged in mud.
Imagine looking for my erection in a deluge of mud or worse, I loose my life while marinating in a sex dream with the philipino First Lady
My obituary will not be funny – The Duke of Shomolu met his muddy death in the hands of a Yoruba developer, they finally beat him.
Fear was my lot that Saturday as pictures of exotic animals killed at the place were displayed and horrid descriptions of how the mud and collapsing building will fall on my roof and carry my house away.
The developers have fired back – all approvals have been received, all safety measures are in place and there is nothing to worry about
The Exco are insisting – this is a ticking bomb – I agree- no real safety measures are in place, the authorities are in cohoot with them etc
In all of these, developer is continuing with huge police presence and me, I am there staring at the impending disaster from my window as I poo
The problem in Magodo is that there is too many powerful people
Every body has power – from the dirty smelly gateman who threatens to beat up a resident cos he has no sticker on his windscreen, to the Exco who sets up panel to ban a resident for life for hissing at a touchy female resident
Everybody is on speed dial to Governor, every body is on speed dial to Wahab, Commisoner of Environment, everybody is on speed dial to babalawo and when its like this, little me is left naked with nothing to cover myself as the power blocs are fighting
Please can the Government now step in and be a government and forget all these ‘na me na me’ and be bold enough to take a position on the side of truth, justice and more importantly safety.
It is not that one that I would now be buried in a rubble of mud and stone that SANWO-OLU will now fly in from Monaco and come and wear protective helmet and be saying to my widow who would have escaped since she would have gone to buy fufu – dont worry madam, Edgar was part of us, we will do everything within our powers to bring the culprit to book, meanwhile give me your numbers so that I could keep you posted
Me, I will wake up like old roger in the nursery rhyme and give Sanwo a knock cos now the potential culprit is there excavating and nobody is saying anything o
Thanks
Duke of Shomolu