Yesterday was another day in Paradise. Rain fell and the usual happened
Flood, traffic, and all that make Lagos one of the most interesting cities in the world happened.
I have woken up to rumblings and complaints all over social media by people who do not understand Lagos
One that caught my fancy was the one from one Mr Jollof who was captioned Delta Gov’s aide
He said he was in traffic for four hours within the Island and then he started to trek and was complaining that he was hungry and had ulcer
To complete it, he said even if he was given a free house, free car and $10m he will not live in Lagos
My people you people should leave our Lagos for us oo
We like it like that and I am not even being sarcastic.
I was in that traffic too yesterday but unlike you, I did what a true Lagosian does – meander his way, have fun while doing it and sha just enjoy what this marvellous city has to offer.
The rain caught me in Ikoyi on my way to my Lekki office.
The first thing i did was to thank heavenly father that I didnt use my BMW, that would have meant hitting Cosharis bottom line in this hard period
I was in my Toyota Yaris, the most effective car in Nigeria today (low fuel consumption, cheap parts and he no dey spoil)
As we got to Late Otunba Subomi Baloguns Palace, the flood hit and we literally started floating.
As the water hit us, I smiled as the contradiction of the situation stared me in the face.
Huge palatial mansions with its occupants rendered prisoners by this brackish water.
We left that and descended into Lekki phase 1 and turned left after the huge roundabout that welcomes you into Soddom and Gomorah as you come off the Ikoyi bridge
The floods came again. This time it was bigger than the Ikoyi one and my Lasgidi mode stepped in
Oya lets turn back and drive towards the main gate, leave the Estate and turn back in and drive beside Evercare and go to where we are going to
The traffic we met was standstill and I looked at Google map and I kid you not the thing said – im on vacation today.
We turned into some side streets, drove for like 5 minutes and apeared back at the round about
I surveyed the topography and took the wisest decsion of the day – head back to Ikoyi and from there back to the mainland
You see if you dont understand Lagos, Lagos will beat you up so mercilessly
Learn to have fun with Lagos. Learn to understand it and work with it
The issue of flooding for example will not leave us in this generation. Its causes are too multi faceted for any government to resolve
From climate change, to reckless construction, to over population and even dirty domestic habits like dumping refuse in drainages all combine to cause these things and when Government decides to address even one of the issues, we will go and block third mainland bridge at Iyana Oworo
Shebi we have heard that most houses in the Lekki and Ikoyi areas are illegal with no approvals and all that
You build and block drainage. You park your cars in a funny way and even reclaim Lagoon to build units as a world famous developer all these with Lagos smiling and be watching
Then it decides to show you pepper, you will now be shouting SANWO-OLU and this Jollof person will leave his Warri backwater and come and be shouting ulcer in our flood – is it your flood?
Lagos is like a beautiful prostitute. We will all be complaining, lagos is smelling, Lagos flood will kill you, Lagos is dirty but we all flood here and refuse to go.
When the illiterate Lagosians shout – leave our Lagos, go back to your own land.
We will claim federalism and be shouting, Lagos is no mans land but when Lagos slap you, you will shout something else
For me, I love Lagos with its smell, flood and all that makes it such an interesting place to be
I perfectly understand Lagos and I like it for what it is and how it responds to me
Its a crazy place and only very mad people enjoy Lagos and all it has to offer.
Four hours in traffic? That was nothing. Shows that Lagos – don dey calm down- cos we have once stayed in traffic over night and got home the next morning
Please if you dont like it, just go and leave us who understand it to stay and waddle in the floods.
Lagos is not for the faint hearted and ulcer ridden people, Lagos is for mad people ask our Governor.
Thank you and you may come and beat me
Duke of Shomolu