Dont you recognise me? That would be the 12th Lady walking up to me at my last Play – Bianca seeking to greet me

No, im sorry I dont think we met. Ohh Edgar, you cant be serious, we were in BGL together or we met last week at a session or we are neighbours

Im so so sorry. Pls remind me and they would go – Duke, Im Ekaette, Im Dupe, Im Angela, Im Laura

How would I recognise them when they all now look like Mongolian masquerades

There is now an epidemic of body insecurity by most of our women and as such they go about attending functions looking like caricatures or at best cartoon characters some even look like fiersome igbo masquerades

What with the hideous wigs, eye lashes that birds can build their nests on, finger nails that look like that of medusa and all sort of colours in the name of make up on their faces making them look like something that can scare babies

How make up artists make these women feel beautiful after turning them into kunkunu , needs to be studied

Make up artists are basically fraudsters anf EFCC should be called in.

They collect your money and dab colours all over your face and leave you looking wooden

Infact there is no need to body shame the average Nigerian woman anymore cos they themselves body shame themselves all over town at various functions

From birthdays, to funerials, to weddings, to boardrooms, you are assailed with all sort of masks that pass for beauty.

From Corsets, to breast lifting bras, to heels, to padded bottoms, to shoulder pads to artificially inserted gaps in their teeth, the average Nigerian woman is a study in pity

After spending hours to look ‘good’ they will now work into the gathering like figures from Michael Jacksons thriller – barely able to work, breathe or eat

Then they will be carrying little fans to help from the heat of the many creams and the make up

You should watch them dress. Its a tug of war. The bike shorts must be pulled over the protruding belle-usually you would need three people – house girl, Maiguard and even the Nepa man that was just jejely reading Meter – to do this and attimes the hubby is begged to join the three so that the thing will cover the tummy and nestle safely just below the breast

Then the battle for the corset begins and then you would need a platoon from the Nigerian Army to tie it from the back

Fresh faced Nigerian beauties are becoming extinct. You hardly see them once they have crossed 40.

At that age, nature starts its work and the women start to fight back often with disastrous effects

I knw of a fresh faced beauty who is over 40 and when I see her, I just smile and say – you are extremely beautiful

I say it so often cos I hardly see very beautiful women again. All I see around me are women looking like zombies and in vatious forms of discomfort as they struggle to attain beauty

Someone should tell them its not working, we are tired of seeing plastic versions of our women, we are tired of seeing three differnt faces on a particular woman cos she has three different make up artists for three different occasions and she would now be getting upset when one does not recognise them

So the question is, what is giving our women this level of insecurity?

Me i dont knw anymore o all I just kmw is that we have more women walking around looking like masquerade from Sagamu than the fresh faced Natural beauties that we have come to expect as Afrcans

Sad

They will definitely come and beat me on this one

Duke of Shomolu

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