It came like a thief in the night. The Press Conference by the shadowy Group Global Intergrity Crusade Network led by little-known Edward Omagu Esq rattled the strong orange fortress built by Bro Julius, leaving him a little bit shaken.
It reminded me of the Gideon Orka coup. The gap-toothed General was coasting along with impudent confidence as he dribbled and meandered around Nigerians with a devilish smile
He had muted all opposition. Vatsa was in his grave, and this sent a warning signal to any other ambitious group that he could do this to his best friend…
Then they struck.. Little-known soldiers hit his fortress and this led him to scamper through dark tunnels for safety before rallying around the troops to salvage the situation
Bro Julius had ruled the Orange kingdom for so long. He had emerged as the true unadulterated emperor of the land
He had restructured, designed a Holdco and emerged truly the first and only real power in the land.
To be fair to him, his figures were and remain celestial. His Shareholders remain happy with him, the Orange kingdom maintaining its pride of place in the land and although carrying along with arrogant majesty, he was doing very well and sitting pretty, beautifully on his throne
Then it happened.. It was on a Friday night. The links started spreading along the guttural channels of social media, the coup was taking place
GICN like their earlier cousins, took aim at the reputation of the Orange Kingdom and its king and hauled a barrage of Molotov cocktails at it
People screamed as the links spread like a very bad case of ebola through the stratosphere
The accusations were lethal and horrendous.
The king not only had scabies, but he had tarred the kingdom with bile. The Kingdom was not worth its weight of gold, and in fact, it was a disease-riddled kingdom that had to be quarantined and culled – they avered.
As I watched this Press conference, I was reminded of the conferences the wicked terrorist used to call with their fear-stricken captives hurled in front of cameras after which they would cover their heads and behead them right there in front of the cameras
The Esq in his cheap suit and not-so-well-curated intonation read out all the accusations the way coup plotters do in their broadcast and at the end, called for a massive investigation of global proportions cos he had taken the time to attach a terrorism charge on it with the hope that this would attract the interest of the international intelligence community
What however, intrigued me was the fact that mainstream media didn’t carry the news.
Although they were represented at the conference with their ubiquitous microphones and labels announcing their brands
I quickly put that on the brilliance of the PR team at the Orange Kindom, who would have urgently worked their relationships with the media to behead the attack by making sure it didn’t infest mainstream media.
The response from the Orange Kingdom was swift, professional and effective.
It issued a press statement disclaiming the issues raised reminding the general public that it was an institution of note, it moved against some errant bloggers and got injunctions to keep them in the dungeons for a bit and this put some reticence in the media space and finally, it went underground to tackle these tourists who had the boldness to come at it in such a daring manner.
The ability to fight back has never been in doubt; in fact, as I watched the press conference, I was praying for Esq and his soul mates.
I hoped they had the sagacity to stand cos this was not just anyhow hornest nest that they had gone to stir
This was a well-oiled fighting machine they went to and engaged and this would definitely not end in a biblical David and Goliath scenario – this time Goliath would maul David and give him his stones to chew and swallow
True to my words, I got a call from my usually reliable source who claims to be in the thick of the investigations
Duke, they have recanted, they have apologised and you must write about it.
I say how, why, after all that bragadocious performance how can they apologise after making all of those weighty accusations
Duke, I tell you they have apologised and have issued statements in that regard.
He goes ahead to forward to me media releases of the statement of apology
Like its initial attack, they use no name Media outlets to send a very humiliating apology to the Orange Kingdom and Bro Julius
They grovel in their apology as they claim that they picked information from the Internet and begged for forgiveness
Who does that in real life? Who sets out to destroy with the bitterness that was shown only to recant in such a disgraceful manner
Well the cowards did and in a very humiliating way.
This has been a tough 6 month period for Bro Julius – the loss of his close colleague, Herbert, the less than colourful showing at the public offer and the recent loss of his beautiful mother events which could weaken the strongest of men
But Brother Julius is built with another strain of clothing. Walking around like a Gucci model and speaking with the thin voice of Michael Jackson throwing up a shroud of weakness, all hiding a resolve made of steel and a character strain of the strongest dictator, Bro Julius, seems poised to continue to rule the roost for a long time.
At this point, let me too render my apology for believing those faggots and almost jumping for joy at their allegations not knowing that they were suffering from a giant dose of the runs- very stupid people
So, does this story end like all fairy tales do?
Will Bro Julius ride into the sunset to the tune of the Paebo Bryson Ballad – a whole new world…
Time will tell, I am not holding my breath.
Make we dey see, is all I can say at this juncture.
I don’t deserve beating for this one na
Kai
Duke of Shomolu