My brother no be today dem don dey beat man. The only thing there be say, many men wey dem dey beat no get Daddy Freeze to help them stream am like your own case
Women don beat me two times and the two times na heavy weight women
Make I give you one gist.
That year, I be fine Investment banker. Dem just give me official car, that time na Toyota Corolla and life sweet
I been come get one yoruba sweetie. She fine like angel and carry body like mammy water
She curvy and big, almost size 22 come tall, black and sweet
My God, as Calabar man, I come happy. If you see the bress big pass Teju foam pillow and the yansh na Bagco super sac
I been dey heaven o. But wetin I no been know be say, the woman get temper
Kai, the temper be like volcano but he dey rarely erupt.
Just like you, na London I first see shege. We get small quanta for Lagos, I come say make we go London go resolve am
Dt time Pound na less than N100 and to go London na like water
As I mumu reach, I carry all the money give am hold with passport and everything.
As we land Heathrow, Her sister appear, she look me for eye say mke i find my way.
She enter taxi with her sister disappear. My people, I look taxi dey go, me think say na skit say she go come back, na lie
I no see this girl for the five days, I dey London.
I beg my paddy to come pick me, that one feed me, cloth me, dey pet me.
I cry all those days. Last day, she call me say make we meet for Oxford Street. She give me all my money back and say she just one show me pepper
Shebi I for run away. But I mumu like you – wey dey find peace for vulcano
I continue the love ooo.
Small thing, na slap. If i look woman na slap. One day he carry padlock nack me for eye cos i hug my class mate
I start to fear. You see as you be like mumu for that video wey you dey say make we ceasefire, na so me sef be like mumu
My friends go dey tell me say, he don do. This beating don dey too much, me I go tell them say – na my fault say she dey beat me, make una leave am
One day she say make i come see am. But na my mama birthday, I no fit commot on time, so i go late
As i near am, Na slap for mainroad for VI. The force of the slap make me fall down, she come siddon for my chest.
Na police beg am to stand up. I nearly die
The beating continue for over two years. No be only beating o, plus abuse and emotional torture and all that
By this time, I don know say, I need to liberate myself before Yoruba woman go take slap change my destiny
This woman don slap me for over 2 years and by this time I no been need for Trump to name me person of interest or to let me know say na Bandit I dey with
So I start to plan my counter attack. This one don pass therapy, this one don pass counselling, this one need reset. Brain reset.
So I bid my time. One day she say she want go see strippers. I say which one be strippers again.
She say strippers dey for Allen make I carry am go, i say ok oo
Na so we go. First time in my life. Come and see things. She enjoy herself o and it was clear no be her first time and the thing dey pain me say my babe don dey hide come see strippers
As we dey go house, and me still dey wonder how I go react to this kind thing, na so I see slap for my face
My people car wey I dey drive swerve. This na 2pm, my eyes blur. Next thing another slap
By this time, I don blind. She dey cry say me no respect am, na why I carry am go strip club. Say if me respect am, I no go carry am go strip club
I come dey ask my self say which kind bullying be this one na
You na customer, one of the dancers even greet you well. You dey press bress, me dey wonder say wetin dey happen and after you come slap me on top the jealousy wey I dey feel again.
I no talk, I just drive straight to hotel wey we book
Me don knw say, today ooo i go liberate myself. This Bandit must suffer no matter the size of her bress or her yansh
Tubaba, your own bandit no even get yansh so me come dey wonder wetin you even see wey come make you dey humbly collect this kind slaps wey we dey hear o
At least my own compensation be say after the slap, dem go say come and lay your head
Well this night, as we enter room, she attack. She send slaps and blows and dey scream say me no respect am
By the time she give me the 5th slap, I trigger my constitutional right to self defence
I slap am bazooka slap. You know that one wey you go open your palms and smash the middle of the face-nose o, eye o, mouth o all join
By the time, I withdraw the hand, na new masquerade I see.
She quiet. Look me, siddon for chair, dey ask me why I dey slap am like that.
I no even answer am, I just carry my load waka commot for the room and into my freedom
You see Baba, the problem wey we get with all these mad skelewu wey dey this our country be say, we don remove the threat of return fire
When mumu men, dey shout, there is no justification to hit a woman na him dey lead to this kind thing wey Skelewu dey slap Legend.
The right to self defence is very key. Even Gen Musa don tell troops yday say, when your life is at risk, fire
Me sef dey tell you, when you are at risk to bodily harm, wipe!!!!
He go serve as deterant and just may be you go get the elusive peace wey you dey find
When me even dey see the skelewu wey dey beat you sef, i just dey wander
Person wey no get yansh, you come leave my own mad sister come follow this mad one wey no get yansh come collect slap sef on top. Wetin come be ur compensation
Abeg bring that your big bald head make i give you one solid knock, make you sef reset your brain cos na mumu man you be
Come and beat me
Duke of Shomolu
Leave a Reply