My mother-in-law was a nurse, like my mother. She was a very quiet, minding her business, kinda a mother-in-law
Unlike most of her colleagues, she would not meddle, as she would not even stay more than a second when she came visiting
She was quiet, prayerful, and spoke only sparingly.
She was kind and would give me stew and ewedu even when I was still a boyfriend and hiding to come and find her daughter
Early in my marriage, I was a rough cookie. I wasn’t a model husband, as I still lived my life like a bachelor
My mother-in-law will come, and all she will say is – My daughter is too young to be experiencing this
That is all she would say and quietly leave
But my father-in-law, the great Papi white, will hail me and say – Bogeeeee, keep on rocking, and I would keep rocking
One day, I came home from work and found an empty house.
I first thought that they had gone to either my in-laws or my parents, who both lived a few streets away.
So I relaxed and continued with my life.
I slept off and woke up around midnight, and didn’t see them, but went back to sleep thinking they were with either of our parents
The next day, I went to work and didn’t think about any of it
But then I came back and they still hadn’t come back, so I called her and she didn’t pick up
Called my mum and she hadn’t seen them, called my in-laws and they too hadn’t seen them, and then I panicked
Three days later, there was still no sign of them, and they were not picking up calls
Just once, they picked and I said hello, hello, hello and no answer, and then I heard cock crowing, and I shouted aghhh, which village are these people
I stopped going to work and started running around. Nobody had heard or knew where they were.
My Son was about three years old, my daughter was about one, and the last child was still an infant
By the third day, I had lost myself and was an emotional wreck
So in defeat, I went to my father-in-law.
He asked if I had seen them, and I replied that I hadn’t.
He laughed, and then my mother-in-law came in and sat and also asked if I had seen them, and I said No
My father-in-law said, ‘Bogeee, arrest your mother-in-law.’
I looked at him in shock. What did you say, sir? he repeated, Arrest her, and you will see your family
He continued Mother will be this relaxed and be eating eba and ewedu if she doesn’t know where her daughter and grandchildren were for three days
That was wisdom. It dawned on me, but how was I going to arrest my quiet and kind mother-in-law
So I asked her again, Mummy, please, do you know where they are and she said no
My father-in-law quietly entered the room, got dressed, and said, “Let’s go
We went to the Police Station down the road and reported
I was afraid to report. Who drags his mother-in-law to the police station, but my father-in-law spoke, and all the police men started laughing
He said, ‘We can’t find the children, and she is eating eba.’ The police laughed and laughed, and I sat there, not knowing what to do or how to feel.
Then the Police decided to follow us home.
We got there and asked Mama to follow us, and she said Let me go and change and she went into the room for a bit to change
The next moment, my phone rang, and it was my madam, Ini. You arrested my mum?
And my father-in-law screamed, med and police jumped for joy, and my father-in-law asked me to buy him a drink and also buy the police a drink
We all sat there drinking and laughing and having fun with my mother-in-law calling us irresponsible men
We ignored her and continued drinking and listening to my father in laws many stories.
In the evening, the missionaries came back from their sojourn and never tried to escape again, cos I held my mother-in-law hostage
My father in law was a character. Kinda miss him
Kai
Duke of Shomolu
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