10 ways to stay safe in the event of an American Attack

Stop wearing Asiwaju-branded Caps

Put American flags on your roof

Move towards the American Embassy and stay within that perimeter

Join Remi Tinubu’s Prayer Warrior Band. Very important

Avoid anything to do with Wole Soyinka. Don’t read his books, carry hair like him. Remember, he tore their Green card

Start playing loud American rock music, and the AI will connect to their systems, causing them to avoid your house. White rock musicians, if you go play African American music, you are on ur own

Shave your beards, all these Gen Zs doing Beard Gang are on their own

Join the LGBTQ and secure immunity

Use American condoms

Marry an American and put his or her picture on ur roof so the American pilots can see

Finally, learn to sing the American National Anthem, u will need it to cross to Cotonou

Duke of Shomolu


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