I haven’t cried in a year, so I kind of did it.
Something happened on Friday night that I cannot mention
When it happened, I was surprised that it didn’t shake me. It was one of my biggest fears hitting me directly
I didn’t move, I didn’t panic, I even slept well and went about my business the next day
But this morning, as I scrolled through IG, I saw a clip of toddlers running through military parades to their soldier fathers screaming – I miss u and I love you and the sight of stern soldiers who have seen combat crumble in tears and cry so hard broke me
It reminded me that the littlest things in this life matter more
Since Dora ended, I’ve been in between projects meaning that I have not earned a dime since
As the bills pack up, I wither. People owing me just turning their backs not that they can’t pay but just feeling like one kind
The turbulence hit but I stand. My true challenge is not in work cos im not normal, I don’t work cos I have to. I have to be inspired to work and that desire refuses to come so I spend days lazing around and just having fun and just wearing clothes
Despite the huge challenges, I refuse to bend but then I saw this video..
I smiled at the toddlers, laughed at the tough soldiers and suddenly broke down and started crying
I love crying. It’s just so relaxing and engaging. The hot tears streaming down my cheeks, the heaving and sighing and the fact that I am alone makes it even more exciting
What spoils a good cry are those people who come around you and say – aghh don’t cry o, men don’t cry oo
Who says a man cannot cry? Mbok leave me and my tears
Then they will continue – it’s ok na, stop crying. Be a man
People just disrupt a good tear up which is one of the most beautiful things on this planet
Today, I took my time and cried well in my room. I gave myself a good Olympic size tear up, complete with jizz coming out of my nose
Then I finished and started writing this piece feeling relieved and reinvigorated
This night, I will cry again before I sleep and really take my time to enjoy it.
When last did you cry? Tell me about it, I would really love to hear.
I just had fun crying. Real fun.
Kai
Duke of Shomolu
Last modified: May 3, 2026
