I’m just sitting on a chair opposite the security gate, not knowing what to feel or how even to feel
There is a lump in my throat, the same one I had for three months after Nicholas sacked me
I want to cry, but then again, how will the cry help me, so I’m holding it
I’m just in a contradictory haze- I should be happy, but I’m sad
I have just accomplished a massive record, but I’m sad; would I want a reversal?
God forbid, but why am I feeling heavy? Why am I feeling gloomy
My last, Zara is off today. She is running around packing her stuff; the agent and school are burning up my phone with last-minute checks, and I have muted it cos I don’t even know what to feel
I hate this situation – I am happy and sad at the same time
Extremely happy that she got the admission and got the visa, and I was able to afford it even with my huge debt profile and at 17years, she would be the youngest in our clan to embark on a course of study that would make her a medical doctor
Her two grandmothers were nurses, and all her grandparents died from different kinds of ailments; maybe that’s her inspiration
For me right now, I don’t give a fuck what is driving her, cos I’m just in a haze, not knowing if my tears would offend God who made this happen and make him regret giving me this undeserved favour
I’m just confused. My Zara is off to China on a two-day journey, to begin a four year course and fear dey catch me, and I don’t know what to do
Kai
Duke of Shomolu
Last modified: September 6, 2026
