Shebi, I was mentioning that I was broke and that it was irritating me.
Well, I started making money again during the week.
I was happy as the alerts slipped in and the millions started rolling in again and I started making plans
Then I sat on my couch in the office scrolling thru my stylist inventory looking for what to splash some money on when my fucking driver called
I was not in his mood, so I cut him off and asked him to send a chat
Sir, I had an accident. What else is new, I said to myself. This short fool has been jamming my car for the last 7 years so what else is new
I said to sort it out and he replied, they are threatening me I said, since I cannot sack you let them help me beat you and then both of you come to the office
The cars can’t move, he said. My heart sank. What do you mean, call me
He called. I jam one car wey dem dey tow he said in his stupid Ibibio accent
I said ok, your car dey start? He said yes. His car dey start? Yes, Oya make una come meet me here.
No sir, dem no fit. Give am the phone. Oga make una come here, he said.
Oga, my car dey on top towing van, and your driver just come jam us.
Which car be your own? Mecedez Benz Jeep – my heart sank.
I dey come. Took an Uber and rushed to the Ikoyi Bridge to see the carnage
My car was totalled. The whole front gone, the Benz still hooked on the towing van had its radiator, front bender, headlights and all gone
My own car was unrecognisable and my driver stood there like the Imp he is and the usual area boys gathered
My first fear was the box of clothes Otunba Lanre Alfred just gave me. Five well-chosen Gothic pieces and I rushed to the car to retrieve them- I cannot shout.
I got a bill for N2. 5m for the Benz and my car, mechanic say he go need time.
The Benz was unregistered, the owner refused to come out and mechanic was there trying to fleece me
I asked them to tow both cars to Surulere while I went home to shower and back to my couch
Ok so just as I was getting over my ‘brokenness’ this happened and I just smiled thru my gloom
Is there a spiritual connotation to all these or was it just happenstance
My mother used to say that if you dont worship God, you will pay to the devil
Was this the devil coming to collect his tithes?
I doubt, cos this was just a fucking, out of his head, olodo driver who just ran into a mercedez Benz jeep on the link bridge in Lagos. Simple
Then Chantal heard and unlike the world, didnt want to know the details, she just asked two questions – are you ok and can you send your account number
Mbok, forgot my gloom and quickly sent it before she changed her mind and she credited me with N135, 000 and said Joe I love you.
You see? You see?
Thanks
Duke of Shomolu
Last modified: May 23, 2025
