Once a policeman had told me, ‘Edgar, except you find government trouble before you enter cell for this country.’
He continued – even if u kill person na back of counter we g o put you. No be Naija we dey, nothing can do you
This is reality for millions of Nigerians. Nigeria as they say, is a place where there is nothing money cannot do
This gives you some kind of confidence as you move around knowing fully well that with money and connections, ‘nothing do you’
Well two days ago, I fell flat on my face
You all know that I live and breathe on WhatsApp. My life, my work, my everything is on WhatsApp
So it’s the singular most important non-living thing in my life
I have over 10,000 people that I interact with here on a daily and it gives me too much pleasure doing things on the platform
That is how, I went to send out spam and the thing did not waste time to kick me out
I screamed immediately I saw the notification that I could no longer use WhatsApp
Then I relaxed. I uninstalled it and reinstalled – he no work.
The thing had barred my number. I changed numbers and tried again, it started working but I had lost all my broadcast list and 80% of the numbers cos they had been saved on the barred numbers.
Nobody to call. This no be Naija thing, wey somebody will know somebody and with N5k you are back
I still tried. Called all the tech gurus I knew and all came back with the same answer – nothing can be done, you will have to wait it out
My Naija arrogance took the better of me and I started wanting to cut deals – look fix the danm thing and send your account number
All drew a blank. Which kind werey thing be this na. I can’t stay without WhatsApp
I had been interacting with the Gov of Kwara state and I knew he would have replied by now
I screamed on the phone, wey dem office, dey must have a branch in this country.
Nothing but AI. I start to type to AI, the thing was just being cold
I say plsssss AI don’t vex, it won’t happen again, the thing send me guidelines for WhatsApp use
I say I have read, what can we do? The thing send me guidelines on how to use FB for bulk messaging
I say which kind wahala be this na. I call my people at Saka and they drew blank
I call Eche a well-known hacker and Eche say nothing
So nobody can give N5k to give me a waiver. Nobody I can call whose brother works there who could help me? Nobody who knows someone who knows their head of enforcement
If this were a Naija Govt agency, I would just send my driver and things would be done and with an apology
But this na me and AI, the thing just no give me my respect
So in humility, I send email – pls Mr AI this thing will impact my business and I hve too many dependants kindly find it within your grace to give me some concession
Don’t know if this particular AI get milk of human kindness as it immediately sent me a message – you will have some access but you cannot make new chats and operate some things
I say thank you. So my WhatsApp came back but with a 24-hour restriction
I could reply chats, chat with old contacts but no broadcasts etc
I was ok. Each time, I forgot myself and tried to make a broadcast, it will just show me clock that was counting the 24 hours for me
So I waited it out in frustration realising just how we can use technology to fight corruption
One hour before the expiration, the thing started sending me all the groups I belonged to, asking me if I wanted to receive all notifications on the group
At exactly 8pm, the thing opened up to me and I started rebuilding my broadcast list all over
There was no need to call anyone, no need to pay huge sums into someone’s personal account and get a govt receipt of half of what u paid, nothing of the sort.
Just pure technology humbling a man born into corruption, steeped in corruption and living in corruption
WhatsApp humbled me
Thanks
Duke of Shomolu
Last modified: April 24, 2026
