Over the last decade, Yoruba pride has undergone a full circle.
At a drop, your next-door Yoruba man will shout that he is an Omoluabi over a parking space or something like that
If you say anything, he will remind you that you are not an Omoluabi, and as such, he is not surprised that you can be using a pick after eating
Yoruba’s are a tribe in South West Nigeria known for their total love for enjoyment and a rich culture that comes with prostrating for elders and having a high reverence for the aged and elderly.
They even have special ways you address them, and when you prostrate or kneel down in greeting and subservience, they will say yessss, you are an Omoluabi
Well, all of that in some cases is not really skin deep, cos if you grew up in Shomolu like I did, you will quickly notice and in fact with pain and humiliation that that Omoluabi thing no reach belle as we say on the streets
That Yoruba boy that was all over the floor in prostration and deep respect for you ehn, that Yoruba girl that was on her knees and doing like after Jesus it’s you ehnnnmm
Just struggle over one agbalumo, you will be hearing Oloshi, agbaya, ala kori, ko ni da fun ehn , agbaya, rada rada
The abuse will be coming like bullets out of the gun of a bandit’s machine gun
By the time they have finished with you, you will be wondering whatever happened to the Omoluabi ooooo
Omoluabi has flown out of the window, and it was not really deep-rooted ooooo
I have learnt very badly that the prostate, that reverence for age, they even have specific words for elders – ehh, that they use when talking to you, remains firm and binding as long as there is no fight or struggle
As an elder, try to ask a young Youlruba girl if she will come home with you, you will receive the Guinness Book of World Records insult, complete with Shioor at the end
This is precisely what 65-year-old Ayo Fayose just displayed with the very elderly and much more respected and globally acclaimed elder Statesman Chief Obasanjo
Chief Obasanjo, who is said to be in his late 80s, a War Hero, military Head of State, two-term President, International Statesman and one of Africa’s most respected individuals, was so abused by a scallywag and an almost nobody simply because Chief Obasanjo had gone to his party to offer him some words of advice
We all know the wahala between these two leading up to his impeachment and his first travails with the EFCC
So we were all very surprised when Omoluabi Ayo Fayose appeared at the Abeokuta home of Chief Obasanjo to invite him for his birthday
A birthday that his own blood brother and my friend Isaac had derided in mock prayer, hoping that at 65, he would now stop being ‘selfish’
Obasanjo had to go through a lot at his age to attend Omoluabi Fayose’s party, thanks to Aliko Dangote, who provided a jet that flew the well-regarded elder statesman from Rwanda to Omoluabi’s joke of a party
At the Party, Omoluabi Fayose was shown dressed in foil – that thing they use to wrap fish in peppersouo joints – with his wife as Chief Obasanjo spoke
Chief spoke about forgiveness and life lessons, and reminded him of how he had to go through hoops to get there
Omoluabi Fayose, the coward, may be fearing the military escorts of the former General and two-time President didnt say a word o
When he got to the safety of his Magodo home, he unleashed
You belong to the zoo, he railed. Return my money he cried amidst all sorts of unomoluabi-like rants, confirming his brother Isaacs’ earlier pre-birthday warnings about him
Chief Obasanjo, on his own, thanked him for his thank you and elegantly told him that his money had been returned in the same package it came and also through the same courier
Who does that? Who asks for his money back if not the lowest of the lowest
I think this Ayo Fayose’s tirade is not just a problem for the Fayose family who gifted us this moron but that of the whole Yoruba system whose omoluabi culture seems to have failed – something I had suspected in Shomolu a long time ago when the delectable omoala ta-toyin the pepper seller called me oloriburuku simply because I had asked her a straightforward question.
The very proud Yoruba people should kindly look at the structure of this Omoluabi system, cos it’s not working
They must reevaluate it, re configure it and rebrand it and now start giving their people forcefully like the way their mothers used to force feed them with ogi – with their heads upside down and the ogi poured from a cup into the cusp of the mothers hands and then straight into their throats with them naked and face up with their tiny penis erect and facing the sky.
Yes, the Yoruba people have to start force feeding their people on the fine tenets of Omoluabi, otherwise the thing will only be good for selling beer, as you see it boldly written on every billboard South West of Nigeria, selling that cheap beer from Ilesha that Yoruba’s like drinking at their very popular owambe parties
Omoluabi Fayose didn’t do well at all; this one is nothing but an Omo Ale
Come and beat me
Duke of Shomolu
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