I am the coward o and not the great Chief of Staff.
You see, one big Yoruba man has been allegedly making some very serious allegations about our Lord of the Flies
According to information floating all over the media – which I am yet to verify and which I may be forced to believe since we have not seen the usual DSS masked men in action or a defamation case in the offing, the man was charged N600m for an appointment.
He claims, according to the report,to have paid N400m and is owing N200m
He claims to have gotten the job, office and about 300 staff
He claims to have a CBN account and allocation paid into said account
Then his story starts looking like a Netflix movie.
He is asked to pay a whopping 40% of the allocation , which I want to assume is to cover the outstanding balance and other such exigencies of the state
Oga, according to his own account, refuses to bulge, and things start happening
These things that are happening are what Fela Kuti called Government magic
The Chief of Staff allegedly issued a statement denying the existence of such an office, and the rest
Oga gets very upset and starts calling CBN, Head of Service, National Assembly and every other government institution involved incompetent
His argument is trite. If his parastatal does not exist, how come he has been able to pass through all these institutions without any blemish
Now, just as I was about to take up the case, the oga stuns me
Pls DSS should kindly investigate and see why my go-between just died a day after I submitted my petition
Aghhj, person died? I screamed.
It gets worse – pls Mr President, kindly ask why I have faced numerous assassination attempts, including one that I narrowly escaped on the Kaduna-Abuja way, where my phones and vital documents were carted away – he asks
As I see assassination, I quickly withdraw from the case
Aghhh, I don’t play with banger, let alone knockout and now Assassination?
I am not interfering again o. Its Government money, like my mother used to say – nobody owns government money
When they were cutting the deal, we were not there, and when they paid the first N400m, shebi I was in the toilet taking a leak, so why am I now coming to involve myself in this matter between brothers
You see, these things where people pay for offices have always been discussed in hushed tones, and this our other grey-bearded oga’s name used to sha just be mentioned during those conversations
But somehow those flames get extinguished.
But this particular baba has sworn to ‘die a brave man than live a coward ‘, and I wish him well as he has something to die for – N400m
In these hard times, his nemesis now wants him to go back to selling agbado and akara after losing that kind of money?
The baba chose to die fighting. So what concerns me, did I lose anything? Is it my money, so why would I come and put my mouth, so that goons will now be pursuing me all over Lagos
My only laughter is the fools who took sides with Gbaja during his imbroglio with Desmond Elliott
I wondered how we can be picky and choosy over issues
So cos it was Surulere, Gbaja was a white knight all of a sudden
Mbok, let me keep quiet o. I have not accused anybody; everything I have said here is hypothetical. Let me face my real worry, which is how to go and learn new frying skills so that at 58 years old, I can position myself for Mummy Remi’s N50k grant.
Nigerians, we just started. By the time the Empire finishes with us, citizens in Idi Amin’s Uganda will be laughing at us
We just started.
Come and beat me
Duke of Shomolu
Last modified: July 2, 2026
