Everyone has been calling me and pointing me towards the South African production on Netflix – The Polygamist
It’s a series on a weird man who ‘collected’ wives and concubines in a sick manner
The plot is thick and very well orchestrated.
He met his first wife in the ghetto, a poor lackey. She was the one who gave him her savings to start university
Then he met his second wife, whose father gave him a start. He married her and, after abandoning the first wife for years, went back to not only gift her the red BMW he had promised her as a poor waif, but also married her
Then he met his staff and married her, who now gave him a set of twins, and from there it was now chaos, leading to attempted murder, STDs, violence and his eventual death from HIV
The effect on his children was effectively thrown at us, especially on his first daughter, by his supposed second wife and the other daughter in the village, whom he kept a secret for 20 years
They being female could not handle his madness, especially when he now went to attempt to have a child with that ones best friend, a love interest of his first and only son
The series showcased the pain, frustrations, humiliations and wickedness that come in such situations
No wonder it has caught up with the imagination of Africa, and it is now the No 1 series on Netflix
Calls have inundated me – Edgar, you need to watch this, Edgar, you need to watch this, and I did
My take is dismissive. This was a wrong parody of life in a polygamy
It played to the wrong stereotype of such settings and played up its negativity to the extent of paranoia
That man does not represent the very common figure that is a polygamist
That man in that series is sick, manipulative and dick-driven
See him sleeping with his daughter’s friend, gets her pregnant and brings her home when his wife and kids are not home to bathe her in the same bathtub his wife uses
That is a sick vermin of a man and not representative of a Polygamist
In real life, a Polygamist is a well-respected strategist
He doesn’t get it most times cos of the volatility of womanhood
But he respectfully discusses his intentions of marrying a new wife with his first wife not to seek her consent, but dutifully inform her
Marries the second wife through native law and customs, and either brings her in or keeps her apart while taking care of her
Women obviously don’t like polygamy, and that is why both inside and outside of it play up its negativity while muting the positive side of it
I dare say that the negativity in single man, one woman marriages is sometimes almost in the same category as that of polygamy, the difference being that there are more participants than in the other one
The dislike of Polygamy comes from the natural boundary-drawing tendencies of women who cannot imagine sharing
But be that as it may, polygamy is a more generalised form of marriage in Africa and in Nigeria in particular
It is more practised here in Nigeria, almost four times to one
It is the most widely practised in Northern and Southwestern Nigeria, where we have most of the population, and if you now add the secret alliance of some men who hypocritically practice monogamy but have hidden polygamous relationships everywhere, you begin to see a reality most women hate, and which society is in denial of
Most Polygamist are no where near what was depicted in that series
They are well-respected men who know how to handle women with maturity and love
They are very patient husbands and responsible fathers who know how to balance the different forces that play in a polygamous setting
Such icons as Oba Tejuoso in his heyday showed the beauty of it.
Others like Emir Sanusi with his six wives, Ooni of Ife with his seven and other such lesser-known men like my late uncle Rex, who had two and kept the family strong and virile all his life till he passed
Even the great Fela, who married 27, saw his wives all pledge to marry him again in the afterlife
The wahala with polygamy is with women. Cos of their sexual selfishness, they excarcebate whatever issues and push them to a crisis level
One of the most exciting examples of crisis management is a Polygamist struggling to resolve an issue between his wives and their children
He is calm, emotionally detached, patient and remains imbued with King Solomon’s wisdom
I have watched my Uncle Rex very closely as he marshalled out discipline, coldly detached himself so that he can take hard decisions that will augur well for the long-term growth of the family and how he manages to balance resources while still showing hard love
That South African series was a joke. A comedic look at the harsh reality of polygamy in a bid to strengthen the negative stereotype of polygamy while playing into the fears and desires of anti-polygamy fans for lucre and ratings
A disgraceful but failed attempt, if you ask me
Thanks
Come and beat me
Duke of Shomolu
Last modified: June 21, 2026
