Chai! It’s nice and soothing to know I’m not alone in this ‘cyclical poverty’ thing o!
My missus don fight me so tey she don give up 3 lifetimes ago.
My own worse to the point dat when I get a call for help for an amount that I do not have at hand do you know I’ll start calling my friends asking them to loan me money, and no one – except my missus – would know that I am borrowing money to help solve another man’s problem!
80% (at least) of the income I have made in my entire life has been spent on others, most of them unrelated and unknown to me. In fact, it was 90% during my residence in America. It was calls, right, left and centre.
During the COVID period, I had about 25 people that I was sending between 5k and 10k to every week throughout the lockdown. I almost died of worry. I practically went bankrupt.
My own problem is, I don’t know how to say no, even when I don’t have the money in hand. Instead of to just say I nor get, I go dey tell them say make I see wetin I fit do. Then I go begin dey try to borrow.
One time like that when I was still living in the US, this guy sent his wife to me. Stupid guy, thinking it’s the wife that’ll make me want to help. I asked where her husband was, she said he was downstairs at the car lot. Go and call him. I was angry with him. I didn’t know his wife; it was him that was my friend. Berated him that he didn’t need to hide while sending his wife.
They were 3 months behind in their $2,780 a month mortgage. To save their house, they had to pay the past-due 3 months, plus one extra month. Total to pay: $11,120.
I didn’t even have $1,000 total in all my accounts that day. But I was closing a deal that day that was to fetch me $12,500. So I asked both of them to wait in my office while I went to close the deal. When the deal was closed, instead of me to go deposit the check in my bank account and wait 3 days to have value, I went to cash it direct (it was a corporate check) because the guys didn’t have the 3 days to spare. They either had to pay the mortgage that day or their house would go into foreclosure the next day. Direct cashing of a corporate check comes with a 5% penalty. Because I went to cash the check for them, I lost $625. So I kukuma gave them the remaining $11,875 – and I nor get shishi for hand!
Even though they promised to pay back, it’s been over 20 years now and I never see their brake light still. Nor be even say I dey expect am self. How many I wan expect?
But the saving grace is that, anywhere wey I go, I dey get favour and prayers. And pastors dey tell me say na my open hand be the main reason why God dey sustain my life.
Like you sha, I always have the belief that I’ll be okay, no matter what happens.
Na God dey sustain us o, kindred spirit.
Last modified: June 9, 2026
