Nigerians are the most self-effacing in this world
Our sense of denial is mercurial. We just love to lie to ourselves, paint bright colours over dour surfaces and then relax and wallow in the emptiness that is the brittle facade we have just built
Nothing paints this more than eulogies on Obituaries and In Memoriam posters
We hide under the moniker – never say anything negative about the dead- to rain beautiful labels on people who lived at best a floating life
A Titan just passed . A giant has left us. A colossus is gone. Gone too soon…
My people, it gets worse… As u read the eulogies, you will think they were talking about Julius Ceaser or Napoleon Bonaparte and not the neighbourhood drunk who made a living peeking at housewives taking their baths
When it is a so-called big man, we lose ourselves in seeking colourful and dramatic euphemism to describe the person, not minding that he stole the Nation dry or drove his company into bankruptcy while living the life
Eulogies and sermons during Nigerian funerals are wholesome lies, figments of imagination, delivered in hypocrisy and received in hypocrisy
Bare-faced lies delivered from the pulpit and from wherever Muslims and others deliver theirs to an audience who have received nothing but wickedness, rape and disdain in most cases from the deceased but who still listen with heads bowed, tears rolling down their faces and still muttering – he was a good man
What this does is that it doesn’t put us under any pressure to live life in the straight and narrow, knowing full well that no matter what, our eulogies would be brilliant
This is why our leaders can shout Emilokan, shout, Im not Aware, lead us thru coups, civil wars, precide over the worse looting on earth, deliver dead bodies in their country homes, buldoze people’s houses and generally lead very imperviously wreckless lives knowing full well that their eulogies would be written in gold and by the best writers and read out by the best in oratorial skills at a ceremony that would be beamed live to all of us with a 21 gun salute to boot
Since no one has gone to heaven and back except maybe Pastor Adeboye, who said he drank tea with God, we cannot say, forget the lies at the funeral since he will be truly judged in heaven.
As we are not very sure of what happens in the afterlife, why not we say the truth about the billionaire thief or about the Governor who built mansions for his family while his people had no schools to go to or even about the ordinary man who just passed through life like a sleepy drone without impact
All these lies just go to show that we are a thieving, lying people, and all you need to do to be convinced is, at the next funeral you attend, just listen to the eulogy and then truly compare what you are hearing with what you know of the man, and if I am wrong come and beat me here.
For me, don’t call me any stupid titan, don’t say any mumu giant has gone, don’t say Nigeria has lost a gem, just say..
Why didn’t we get to beat him before he passed…
Thanks
Duke of Shomolu
Last modified: July 28, 2026
